So what do you call a female dog?

Life.  You know that good ole' creaky roller coaster that just keeps chugging along?  My family upgraded. We are on the super duper twisty turvy one, buckled in, upside down, by the ear lobes.  This past march my family (husband, toddler, baby, and sanity) moved to Wisconsin for new jobs and to be  near family.  We all made it except my sanity, she death rolled out of the moving vehicle.  I thought it would be hard. Yes.  I thought I was prepared with my emergency kit packed with extra patience, good intentions, and La Croix.  Oh how I underestimated.  We need a full time medical team, physiatrist included.

Let me summarize...

1.  Trying to sell the Tucson house...drama
2.  Living with the parents...eh, a daytime soap, it's special
3.  Trying to buy our East Troy house...could be a serious federal conspiracy

4. All the other $*#%!...epic blockbuster

Here is just a scenario of the insanity (over dramatized for additional entertainment value and more sympathy votes).  In one beautiful summer day in Wisconsin, we get a call that we can't close on our house due to Fannie and Freddie's shenanigans, my husband drowned his phone in the lake, my daughter put coins into the DVD slot in our car (don't ask), my son learned how to climb out of his high chair (and thinks it's funny), Tucson called and wants our wallet, someone fraudulently charged $800 to our credit card in Seattle, and I can't sit on the potty alone.  I usually have at least two companions, sometimes three.  That's just one day...and it's not really that far from the truth.

Now in all seriousness, it's been hard, but I need to quit my whining.  We had the opportunity to move back, it's all good in the long run.  I met someone today who lost her father when she was 17 to diabetes and who can't have children because of a tumor.  I met someone yesterday who couldn't sell their house for over a year.  I met  someone a week ago who lost his job while building a house with his pregnant wife.  I know there is much much much worse than even that.  Life ain’t easy and we all poop.  It's just really hard to imagine Sandra Lee pooping.

I often times forget how completely and utterly worth it this all will be.  I have never ever felt this immense anxiety.  It's like we broke a mirror the size of Texas right after we accepted our job offers.  BUT our kids are in hog heaven.  They are our numero uno and if they are happy, amen.  Grandmas and Grandpas and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins showering love.  Wisconsin in all its beauty acting as the best playground a kid could want.  Little ET with the town square and kids playing football in the street.  It’s like stepping into a photograph.  Did I really grow up in such a homey place?  Gosh, PUKE!  It's so damn cute!  The grass is green.  I know this all sounds sappy, but I'm declaring release of my inner canine.  I'm putting my hands in the air and say…Weeeeeeeeeee!!!! (followed with a giggle).